Meri Janeman

Phool Aur Gamla

Teer Se Na Maro

Pyaar Ka Jaam

Gali Me The Gali Me Reh Gaye

Julab Ki Goli

Platform

Blood Group

Gaddha

Sharabi

Bhikhari

Hair Arter

Judge

Writer

Diwali

Daddy

Bitto

Leader

Do pal ki khushi

Do pal ki bhi khushi na mile to kya,
Umar bhar gum ke sahare ji lenge,

Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi,
Hum Aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge..

Teacher & Student

Teacher: You idiots! At your age Einstein ranked first in class. What about you..?
Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..! What about you..?

Boy & Girl

Boy to girl:Hey if i climb this coconut tree, I can see Engineering college girls.
Girl:Leave both the hands from there, U can see medical college girls..

Macchar

Ek macchar ek takle ke sar par ja baitha...
Dusra macchar bola:- Waha kya ghar dunda hai..
Pehla macchar bola:- Ghar kaha re abi to sirf PLOT karida hai...

Duniya Gol Hai

Duniya Gol Hai:-----Chuha Billi se darta hai,Billi Kutte se darti hai,Kutta Aadmi se darta hai, Aadmi Biwi se darta hai,Biwi Chuhhe se darti hai.! Duniya Gol Hai..

Amitab Bachhan & Sardar

Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......

Qualification of Sardar

Interviewar: whats your qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do you mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....

A sardar for an exam

A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay and it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

A sardar on an interview

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me the job, I will start investigating.......

A Tamilian

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

Sardar's dissection

Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"

Sardar shouting to his girl friend

Sardar shouting to his girl friend " you said we will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting for you yesterday whole day in the post office....

Two sardars are driving a Car

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...

Sardar's theory

Moon is more important than Sun, beacuase it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!

Boss And Sardar

Boss : I am giving You job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it O.K
Sardar : You are great sir! Starting salary is o.k........but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?

Sardar at bar in New York .

Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

Sardars once again- its good-cant beat them

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".

petrol station

man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to stop.
He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?".

The man says "Sorry - we're right out of petrol."

So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?"

And the attendant responds "Sorry, but no oil either."

The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that.

The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant, "Just what kind of petrol station is this ?"

The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front."

The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tires!"

wrote your name

wrote your name on sand,
it got washed.
I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away.
I wrote your name on my heart &
i got Heart Attack.

Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Goods

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swan frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Driving

I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now do in me 4 taking the piss

Wife and Husband

Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.

you are good looks

Someday you may lose your hair,
lose your teeth, your money
and even lose your mind,
But one thing you will never lose
you are good looks,
.
.
.
.
.

because u can never lose
what you don’t have

You Have

Heaven is when you have German Car, American Salary, Chinese Food and Pakistani Wife.
Hell is when Car is Chinese, Food is German, Wife is American and Salary is Pakistani.

The case was closed

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

cell

what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey please contact zoo for more detail......

your life

If ever in your life you are very sad and lonely and feel that you have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take you for Walk on a Bridge and Show you where to jump From !!!...

Cat

This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAY IN CAT!

Arz kiya hai

Arz kiya hai:


Daag to chala jaega kameez se,

Wah wah

Daag to chala jaega kameez se,





Agr tm kapre dho tameez se :

Love

Any Man Can Love

A Million Girls

But Only A REAL MAN

Can Love One

Girl In A Million Ways…

love 3 things

love 3 things!
The sun, the moon and U!
The sun for the day,
the moon for the night and you forever!

Ladkiya

Ladkiya Pent ke Niche kya pahenti he?




Think.



Socho...



Guess...


Sochte raho...



Vikrut mind!
Ab sudharo,
Vo CHAPPAL Pahenti hai.
Andar nahi puchha tha....!

VICTORY

Champions are not supernatural,
They just fight one more second when everyone else quits,
Sometimes one more second of effort gives you the VICTORY.

Injured Phone

My phone has been injured by hutch dog on reliance road,
near airtel town.
I have an idea to admit it in a tata hospital.
Dr.Nokia say it need SMS so donate SMS.

Mahobbat

Mahabbat ko mahabbat ka ishara yaad rehta hai,
har pyar ko apna pyar yaad raheta hai,
wo pal jo yaar ki baho me gujare he,
Mot Tak wo najara yaad rehta he.

Car

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Taare

Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain,
A aj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain;
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!

A Police

A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."

I am a virus

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry
I will leave, I can't find a brain.

Life without you is impossible

Life without you is impossible,
you are in my breath and blood.
i cant stay for a second without you,
if you are not there i am dead
ye hello i am talking about OXYGEN

terrorists

terrorists have kidnapped our lecturers... and demanded ransom of 500000 rs or else they will burn them with kerosene... please donate. i have donated 15 liters.

wonderful

When i look at you,
i cannot deny there is God,
cause only God could have created some one
as wonderful n beautiful as you

friends like you

When I open my eyes every morning
I pray to God that everyone should
have a friend like you….
Why should only i suffer!!! ha ha ha

Most important basis of finance

Commerce professor asks the student:
What is the most important basis
Of finance for starting business?

Student: “Father in law”.

Will U marry

Sood: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.

Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
Sood: No I will also live with your sister.

Life is nothing without LOVE

Life is nothing without LOVE,
Love is emotion & Kiss is practical,
don’t get emotional, dear just b practical
So STOP loving and START Kissing.

love cards

Sood: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Sood: Great! I want 10 of them.

S E X

Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!

Positive Thinking

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling.
but in rising every time we Fall.

Friendship

Feelings are few.

Cloud a dark, but sky is blue.

Love is paper, life is a glue.

Everything is false but.

Friendship is true.

Sardar

Sardar bought a car on loan...
He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his car.

Sardar: "if i knew this, i had taken a loan for my marriage also"....!

Seven phases of life

Seven phases of life



1. Studies



2. Games



3. Entertainment



4. Love



5.



6.



7.



Life ends when love starts....!!!!!

Hair Tips

How to make curly hair??
...
...
...
...
...
...
Simple...
Wear underwear on the head.

2 Lovers

Two lovers plan to suicide. First boy jumped.
Girl closed her eyes And return bake say LOVE IS BLIND.
Boy in air open his para suit and say LOVE IS NEVER DIES.

extra care

Always take extra care of 3 things in your life...

Trust....


promise....


Relation....

Because they don't make noise when they broking.

Wife & Husband

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Engineering student

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

Englishman, Bihari & Punjabi

An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.
Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.

Types of Sms

• Funny Sms
• ASCII SMS
• Anniversary SMS
• April Fool SMS
• Birthday SMS
• Break Up SMS
• Christmas SMS
• Diwali SMS
• Eid Mubarak SMS
• Fathers Day SMS
• Flirt SMS
• Fool SMS
• Friendship SMS
• Greetings SMS
• Holi SMS
• Insult SMS
• Marita Woes SMS
• Missing You SMS
• Mothers Day SMS
• Naughty SMS
• New Year SMS
• Politics SMS
• Rakhi SMS
• Raksha Bandhan SMS
• Romantic SMS
• Santa Banta SMS
• Shayari SMS
  
• SmsRelated Sms
• Sorry SMS
• Students Exams SMS
• Valentine Day SMS