Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Do pal ki khushi
Do pal ki bhi khushi na mile to kya,
Umar bhar gum ke sahare ji lenge,
Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi,
Hum Aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge..
Umar bhar gum ke sahare ji lenge,
Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi,
Hum Aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge..
Teacher & Student
Teacher: You idiots! At your age Einstein ranked first in class. What about you..?
Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..! What about you..?
Student: Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide..! What about you..?
Boy & Girl
Boy to girl:Hey if i climb this coconut tree, I can see Engineering college girls.
Girl:Leave both the hands from there, U can see medical college girls..
Girl:Leave both the hands from there, U can see medical college girls..
Macchar
Ek macchar ek takle ke sar par ja baitha...
Dusra macchar bola:- Waha kya ghar dunda hai..
Pehla macchar bola:- Ghar kaha re abi to sirf PLOT karida hai...
Dusra macchar bola:- Waha kya ghar dunda hai..
Pehla macchar bola:- Ghar kaha re abi to sirf PLOT karida hai...
Duniya Gol Hai
Duniya Gol Hai:-----Chuha Billi se darta hai,Billi Kutte se darti hai,Kutta Aadmi se darta hai, Aadmi Biwi se darta hai,Biwi Chuhhe se darti hai.! Duniya Gol Hai..
Amitab Bachhan & Sardar
Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......
Sardar : liquid state.....
Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.......
Qualification of Sardar
Interviewar: whats your qualification?
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do you mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
Sardarji : Sir I am Ph.d.
Interviewar : what do you mean by Ph.d?
Sardarji : (smiling) PASSED HIGH SCHOOL with DIFFICULTY....
A sardar for an exam
A sardar for an exam had studied only one essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced friend with father in the essay and it read: AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS, SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.
A sardar on an interview
A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me the job, I will start investigating.......
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me the job, I will start investigating.......
A Tamilian
A Tamilian call up sardar and asks " tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
Sardar's dissection
Sardar is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.
He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he wrote the conclusion......
..... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut - it becomes deaf......"
Sardar shouting to his girl friend
Sardar shouting to his girl friend " you said we will do register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting for you yesterday whole day in the post office....
Two sardars are driving a Car
2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says YES...NO...YES...NO...YES...NO...
Sardar's theory
Moon is more important than Sun, beacuase it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!!!
Boss And Sardar
Boss : I am giving You job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it O.K
Sardar : You are great sir! Starting salary is o.k........but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
Sardar : You are great sir! Starting salary is o.k........but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
Sardars once again- its good-cant beat them
Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you bastard".
Sunday, July 5, 2009
petrol station
man is driving along in the Irish countryside, when he comes to a petrol station, since he's in need of petrol, the man decides to stop.
He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?".
The man says "Sorry - we're right out of petrol."
So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?"
And the attendant responds "Sorry, but no oil either."
The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that.
The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant, "Just what kind of petrol station is this ?"
The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front."
The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tires!"
He says to the attendant at the station, "Fill it up, will you?".
The man says "Sorry - we're right out of petrol."
So the man considers, and says "Well, I'm a bit low on oil, would you mind topping that up?"
And the attendant responds "Sorry, but no oil either."
The man thinks, and asks the attendant to wash his windscreen, to which he gets the by-now predictable response that he can't do that.
The man at this point is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant, "Just what kind of petrol station is this ?"
The attendant then looks both ways, and very carefully whispers to the man "To tell you the truth, this is just an IRA front."
The man then says "Well, in that case, you can blow up the tires!"
Saturday, July 4, 2009
wrote your name
wrote your name on sand,
it got washed.
I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away.
I wrote your name on my heart &
i got Heart Attack.
it got washed.
I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away.
I wrote your name on my heart &
i got Heart Attack.
Actual Label Instructions On Consumer Goods
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swan frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On some Swan frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Driving
I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now do in me 4 taking the piss
you are good looks
Someday you may lose your hair,
lose your teeth, your money
and even lose your mind,
But one thing you will never lose
you are good looks,
.
.
.
.
.
because u can never lose
what you don’t have
lose your teeth, your money
and even lose your mind,
But one thing you will never lose
you are good looks,
.
.
.
.
.
because u can never lose
what you don’t have
You Have
Heaven is when you have German Car, American Salary, Chinese Food and Pakistani Wife.
Hell is when Car is Chinese, Food is German, Wife is American and Salary is Pakistani.
Hell is when Car is Chinese, Food is German, Wife is American and Salary is Pakistani.
The case was closed
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.
cell
what is wrong with your cell every time i call a voice comes the subscriber u have dialed is a monkey please contact zoo for more detail......
your life
If ever in your life you are very sad and lonely and feel that you have lost every thing, I will come, Hold your hand, take you for Walk on a Bridge and Show you where to jump From !!!...
Friday, July 3, 2009
Cat
This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat a cat idiot cat buzy cat for cat 20 cat seconds cat! NOW READ IT WITHOUT SAY IN CAT!
Arz kiya hai
Arz kiya hai:
Daag to chala jaega kameez se,
Wah wah
Daag to chala jaega kameez se,
Agr tm kapre dho tameez se :
Daag to chala jaega kameez se,
Wah wah
Daag to chala jaega kameez se,
Agr tm kapre dho tameez se :
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